he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
