You really coming over, don't trick.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
