i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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