I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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