How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
