it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
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