I wanna passion pit in your ass
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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