dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
