Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
