drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
