I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
