i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
