So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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