Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
