does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
