i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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