Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
