Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize