ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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