My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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