Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
