its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
