the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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