Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
