How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
