1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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