i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
