Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
