I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
