Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
