wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
