what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
