420 ftw
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
