What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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