I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
God, I missed his penis.
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