i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
