What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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