omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
