My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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