The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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