We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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