i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
