I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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