god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
