Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
