I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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