Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
