I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
