Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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