Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
