benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
