literally had 100 drinks last night.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
