My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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