I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
