Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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