The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
