You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
